I just counted how many tabs were open on my computer.
20.
My husband never has 20 tabs open at the same time. When he
walks past my computer he shudders. "How can you focus with all that
clutter??" I tell him it's one of the mysteries of being a woman.
Women have a unique ability to keep dozens of tabs open in our brains as well
as our computers. It's a blessing and a curse. It makes us great multi-taskers,
but it also allows us to worry without even being aware of it.
In the middle of making dinner tabs start popping open in our minds: "What
is really in this can of cream of mushroom soup? Is it even real food? I wonder
if I spent too much at the store. I hope the toddler will eat this meal
tonight. He is getting picky. I wonder if he will always be picky. Maybe he is
malnourished and I don't even know it. Did I schedule their doctor's
appointments? This week is already too busy. Are we spending enough time as a
family?"
By the time we put dinner on the table we are stressed and we don't even know
why.
How do we close the tabs to focus on the task at hand?
It starts with identifying what sparks our worries. Satan has special arrows he sharpens specifically
for moms to rob us of the joy of motherhood. His goal is to replace rest with
anxiety so the gospel will not shine through us to our families.
Which of the following three arrows do you most often find aimed at your own
heart?
Arrow #1: Your Kids Will Fail.
When I was in junior high one of my best friends walked away from the Lord. By
high school she had dropped out and was pregnant. Growing up in the church, my
teenage brain was spinning.
"What happened? She grew up in a Christian home like me."
We all know Christian families who, despite their best efforts, have children
who grow up and walk away from the faith. It might make you look at your own
kids and think, "Will our kids be any different? How do we protect them
from their own sinful hearts?"
There is nothing we can do to "save" our kids. No amount of
preaching, AWANA, Sunday School, or Christian home school curriculum can cure
their sin nature. That's hard for us as parents to accept.
But we are not left without hope. Far from it. God has given us a beautiful
promise to cling to:
"Train up a child in the way he should
go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)."
This verse is not a guarantee that if we do everything right our kids
will turn out okay. So what does it mean?
It's a promises that if we train our children in the Word, it will never
leave them. It will stay in their hearts forever. They might go through
times of suppressing it, but it will be there for the Holy Spirit to
use as He sees fit. "Even when he is old he will not depart from
it." That's huge motivation to keep teaching our kids the Bible.
But there's more. James 5:16 tells us, "The effective prayer of a
righteous man can accomplish much."
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ you are a righteous woman. It has nothing
to do with your own righteousness. It's about
Christ's righteousness working in you. God tells you that your
prayers accomplish something.
Do you have a teenager who is going down the wrong path? Do you watch your
sleeping baby and wonder if he will follow the Lord?
Pray.
It does something.
In ways we will never fully understand, God chooses to weave our prayers into
the sovereign plan He laid from eternity past to accomplish His will. Keep
praying. Pray protection from temptation over your kids. Pray
salvation for them. God promises that when you replace anxiety with prayer the
"peace of God will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus
(Philippians 4:7)."
Teach. Pray. Trust.
Arrow #2: You Will Fail.
"God, You are sovereign. You are powerful and mighty. But me?
If I can mess it up, I will. Please don't entrust me with anything important!"
Sound like your own thoughts? They actually belonged to Moses. When charged
with the task of leading the Israelites out of slavery he responded, "Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send
someone else (Exodus 4:13)."
Sometimes motherhood is as daunting as herding a
million Israelites through the desert. We're terrified of our
own inadequacies.
It's particularly scary seeing our own sinful habits reflected in our
kids. We want to protect them from making the same painful mistakes we've
made...but we keep making them! "This
job it too big, God. I'm not strong enough."
But when we question ourselves we are questioning God. Who made you
a mother? Who charged you with this task?
God did.
Your task of
motherhood was tailor made specifically for you, and you for it. Ephesians 2:10
says, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.
Just as our kids are our "workmanship," we must remember that we are God's workmanship.
His hands are constantly on us, shaping us for the very task He has called us
to.
Philippians 2:13 says, "For it is God who is at work in you, both
to will and to work for His good pleasure."
He has equipped you for this calling. That equipping includes mercy to
forgive you when you fail. Yes, it is too big for you - but
it's not too big for Christ. Seek His glory in every situation and don't
get sidetracked by your own failures.
Arrow #3: The World Will Fail Them.
In 2004 a movement called "Christian Exodus" sprang up. Christians
from all over the country were pulling away from the corrupt government to
start a commune in South Carolina. The goal was to eventually secede from the
United Sates and become an independent Christian state.
Crazy. But...tempting?
Do you ever look around and wonder what kind of world your kids are
going to grow up in? Morality has been turned completely upside down. Truth is
distorted on every level.
What about dangers to their bodies? Maybe you have a child who
struggles with severe health issues. My friend Elisha faced these fears head on
with her suffering little one.
Elisha writes:
"I realized I couldn't do it. I used to think I could protect my
family from cancer only to realize that the effort that would take would not
fulfill me or make me happy. In fact, it made me crazy. Ultimately my time
here should be spent cherishing the things God cherishes - people. In
particular, my little people. If I do get cancer it is not the worst thing
that could happen to me. What would be worse is if I spent all my moments
focusing on avoiding cancer and not really living my life in community with
believers. It's sobering to have constant reminders of the damage this
world can inflict on our bodies - how much more our souls?"
Elisha's perspective shifted when she realized that trying too hard to protect
our kids from this world comes at a cost. Sometimes it costs us our
trust in God.
When you come across another disturbing news article about anti-Christian
legislation, or a new study threatening to undo everything you thought you knew
about nutrition, remember:
"This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet."
Is God still on His throne even when your child ate
processed food at a birthday party? When homosexuality appears regularly in
school textbooks? When our country spirals down in economic collapse?
This is His world. We are His people. Nothing can
change that.
We need to close the tabs, moms. Concentrate your mental energy on
the tasks and the people God has placed in your path today. God has
only given you enough grace for that. Our hearts were not made to handle all
the hypothetical situations we can dream up. When we worry about the future
there is no room to enjoy the present. Elisabeth
Elliot says, "The past is in in His hands and the future is none of
your business."
When your mind wanders in the middle of doing the laundry or making dinner and
the tabs start to open, fill them with: "Whatever
is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever
is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if
anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things (Philippians 4:8)."
You know what fits each of these descriptions? Jesus. Fill your mind with more
of Christ.
And for all the "What if's?" - Quench them with this word of grace:
"God does not give grace until the hour of trial
comes. But when it does come — the amount of grace, and the nature of the
special grace required, is granted. My soul! do not dwell with painful
apprehension on the future. Do not anticipate coming sorrows;
perplexing yourself with the grace needed for future emergencies; tomorrow will
bring its promised grace." - John Macduff
Great post and thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYour email post seem to arrive in my email at just the right time! They seem to coincide with the thoughts that have been going through my head!!! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThe analogy of too many "tabs" is so appropriate. I've lost count of how many times my husband has said the very same thing!
ReplyDeleteYour commentary is so on point. I am prey to the very same worries as a mother. How wonderful that we can rest on God's promises when we are overcome!
God is so good! Just this morning I was listing to a sermon related to this. I am guilty of these worries as a mom and legal guardian of my 22 month old grandson. My hearts desire is to do it God's way not mine, but I fall short. Thank you for this encouragement and reminder, God IS in control! Moving forward.......
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