When I had my first baby everything changed. My sleeping,
eating, housekeeping, socializing - everything. My “new normal” pulled the rug
out from under me. One change in particular was very difficult: I couldn’t
spend time in God’s word the way I used to. My regular spiritual disciplines of prayer and scripture reading were all out of whack. In high school and college I
started every day with my Bible time. I never missed it. Now, as a new mom, my
day didn’t really have a beginning. The hours all ran together in the endless
fog of exhaustion. My time was not my own. My Bible reading was sporadic and
disorganized. I felt out of control and anxious. It was a box I was
very nervous leaving unchecked day after day. What would happen to me? I was
sure something bad would happen if I let my head hit the pillow without reading
something from my Bible that day.
But the reality was, God was feeding me from His word during
that time. Passages I had stored up in my heart as a kid came to mind in the
wee hours of the night as I fed my baby. Pieces of the Psalms snatched here and
there from 3x5 cards above the changing table helped to anchor my hormonal thoughts.
God was faithful to me during that dry spell of Bible reading. But my anxiety about
it showed me something about my heart. It showed me that what God meant to be a
means of grace had become an idol.
Idolizing spiritual disciplines happens very subtly. We’re
not talking about simply hungering for God’s word. We’re talking about that
slight shift from hoping in our savior to hoping in our works. I didn’t realize
it at the time, but in my heart I was crossing a fine line between discipline
and superstition. I was seeking spiritual protection through the act of reading God’s word, rather than
from God’s word itself.
Spiritual disciplines are supposed to be all about the Who, not the what. It’s not the praying
that protects us, but Who we are
praying to. It’s not the pages of scripture themselves that have power, but the
One the scriptures point to. If we use spiritual disciplines as an end in
themselves rather than a means to an end, we run the risk of idolatry. Satan
loves to distract us with religious practices so we lose our focus on Christ. At
the beginning of the Lord’s Prayer Jesus reminds us that it’s not our many
words that draw us close to God; it’s our coming to God as a child comes to a father. (Matthew 6:7-8)
We’re not looking for a guilt-free way to neglect spiritual
disciplines. As Paul would say, “May it never be!” (Romans 6:1) That’s the
irony of God’s grace. The more we experience it, the more we want it. When we know God accepts us and loves us apart
from how many minutes we log in our quiet time journals, we are inspired to
seek more time with this gracious,
loving Father. Martin Luther said, “The Bible is a remarkable fountain: the more
one draws and drinks of it, the more it stimulates thirst.”
So how do we utilize spiritual disciplines without making
them an idol? Here are two ways I have found that protect my heart:
1. Don’t
compare your spiritual disciplines to others’. I remember finally coming to
peace with my new Bible reading routine as a new mom – until I heard about
someone else’s. I found out there was a mom in our Bible study group who set
her alarm for 2am so she could read her Bible in a quiet house and then go back
to sleep. Suddenly my own quiet times looked pathetic. But I was comparing how
God works in someone else’s heart to how He works in my heart. I was taking on
someone else’s convictions. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear what other people do
and sometimes it’s harmful. It comes down to discernment. When we hear about
someone else’s prayer life or Bible reading time we can ask ourselves, “Is
there a good idea here I can benefit from? Do I want to imitate this because I
think it will help me draw closer to God, or because it will make me feel
better about myself?”
2 2. View
spiritual disciplines with a gospel perspective. Our prayer and Bible
reading programs don’t affect our standing before God. That’s because we stand
before God on Christ’s merit alone. However, prayer and Bible reading have a direct
impact on our practical relationship with God. Spiritual disciplines are the
means through which God feeds our souls. When we skip them we don’t deprive
ourselves of salvation itself, but of the hope
of our salvation. We miss out on beautiful fellowship with God that encourages
our hearts and strengthens us against temptation.
Are you in a dry spell? Read when you can, pray when you
can, and rest in God’s love. Are you in a time of plenty? Store up for the dry
spell! Immerse yourself in God’s word now so you can draw from it later.
Charles Spurgeon said, “To pray is to enter the treasure-house
of God and to gather riches out of an inexhaustible source.” This is a much
greater motivation than simply checking something off our spiritual to-do lists.
We can have confidence that when we seek God we will blessed. We can also trust
that His faithfulness to us is based on the finished work of Christ. Nothing
can improve upon it or take away from it. So pray, read, and rejoice that you
belong to Christ.
"The Gospel-Centered Mom is the single best parenting book I've read since becoming a mom." - Amy T.
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Available on Amazon and Etsy!
**NEW: Find out how to use this book in a group study!
"Exploring the Bible" by David Murray is a Bible reading plan for kids, highlighting gospel themes from Genesis to Revelation!
You really have an amazing schedule and this shows how systematic and organized you are. Hope your baby is doing fine. And it was a great pleasure of reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mom is a full time job, and in that case moms usually dont get time for their religious activities. But dont worry time will pass soon and your baby gets older so you can get time to read bible and worship God.
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